Perspective, Compassion and Responsibility

Perspective

Life is a bit complicated around here but I am doing my best to stay grounded and positive. Well, as positive as possible when you love and live with someone who has a Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) diagnosis. My husband, of just about 21 years, is struggling mightily. His demons are WAY bigger than what he can cope with a lot of the time, but he holds on. He is barely treading water right now and there is nothing I can do to help him really. I worry every day that something will trigger him and push him over the edge. I live in fear that another suicide attempt is right around the corner. BPD isn’t an easily helped condition. He has been on the whole alphabet of pharmaceuticals over the last 10 years. None have really made much of a difference. He has been going to therapy regularly both one on one and in group too. Some days are better than others.

It can be difficult for me to stay grounded. I love this man and it hurts so much to see him slip away. I mean, he is here, but the illness is so consuming to him. I yearn for the way it used to be. I miss the man that I used to laugh with. I miss looking eagerly towards the future. We live day to day most of the time. On the bad days, it is hour to hour. I can only be here for him, as much as he will allow me to be. We’ve got three kids and a business that need to be cared for. If I lose my shit, that stuff won’t get done. So I do what I can to reground myself often as needed.

My grounding tools of choice include my vast collection of oracle cards. I’ve got at least 7 decks scattered across my house. I haven’t used them very often, but I am actually finding peace in the messages that provide. A card reading always gives me things to consider. A change of perspective is always a possibility. I can’t change what is going on with him, but I can change the way I react to it all.

This morning, I used my Messages from Your Angels deck. It actually made me feel a little hopeful. 😌

Messages from Your Angels Oracle

Question Asked: What is coming up for me?

Present

Chantall – “New romance is imminent – with a newcomer (not going to happen!) or through reignited passion in your existing relationship. Be open to giving and receiving love.”    

This card hit home for me.  One of the hardest parts of this mental health challenge is that the “we” of our relationship has faded. It reappears briefly every blue moon, but it is usually gone as quickly as it appeared.  

Immediate Future

Zanna – “You are protected from all types of harm. The worst is now behind you. I ask you to relax and feel safe.”

I think this is my sticking point. I have been living my life holding my breath for a very long time. When things seem better, I have a difficult time living in the moment and appreciating it. I warily see the better, but wait for it to get hard again. I want to believe that the worst is behind me but keep bringing up past experiences as proof that it won’t.

My rampant “what-if” negative thinking is doing me no favors. It’s apparent that I need to do some work on my expectations and chronic thought patterns. What you think about will come to be.

What you think about, comes about.

Three Months from Now

Grace and Antoinette – “To help heal this situation, see the other person’s point of view with compassion.”

Without a doubt, there could not have been a more true card pull where BPD is concerned. I can not understand what he is feeling. I can only guess but compassion will go a long way to making him feel validated and heard. Learning more about cultivating compassion is definitely in order, for both his well being and mine.

After using the oracle cards, I decided to go to another tool. EFT (emotional freedom techniques) has had a HUGE impact on my life. I honestly think it has kept me level when I could have very easily gone off the deep end. There are lots of great teachers on youtube and online. Some of my favorites are Brad Yates, Nick and Jessica Ortner and Robert Smith. I saw this tapping video from Brad Yates come across my facebook feed and thought it was an awesome match to what I needed. The poor me mentality and the I’ve got no control thought process just aren’t cutting it anymore. It’s time to take responsibility for my thoughts!

Responsibility for Thoughts

If you have never tapped before, watching the video will show you where the tapping spots are. If you have, you can read through his script below the video and read and tap.

Taking Responsibility for Your Life – Tapping with Brad Yates

(As transcribed from the Youtube Video)

I don’t want to get into a hierarchy of what’s most important in life but it can be argued, one of the most important things is taking responsibility for your life.

You know because if you’re not responsible for creating your own life.
You’re kind of at the whim of other people or outside forces. So it’s really great to take responsibility and say “You know what? I AM creating my life. It’s up to me.”

And I’m not talking about the past. This is not about you know taking the blame.
or it’s your fault for things that happen in the past. Particularly if there have been some traumatic things that have happened to you.

I’m not interested in having you say “yes, It’s my fault that this terrible thing happened to me” or that I have this disease or whatever it is. Not there.

It’s about right now. In this moment saying “Okay from where I am right now, I am taking responsibility for creating a better life. For creating what I want.”
to whatever extent I possibly can, which you know is arguably absolutely.

So taking full responsibility for your own well-being in this tapping video and in life…

KC (Karate Chop): I choose to take responsibility for my life and I choose to love and accept myself.

KC: I Choose to take responsibility for my life and I choose to love and honor myself.

KC: I choose to take responsibility for my life. There are things that I want to have happen. There are things I’d like to have in my life. And, most importantly,
there are things that I wish to feel. And I’m not waiting for anyone else to make that happen.

KC: I choose to take responsibility for my life and I choose to deeply and completely love, honor and accept myself. And everyone else who shows up in my life.

EB (Eyebrow): I’ve taken responsibility for my life.
SE (Side of Eye): If there are things that I want to have happen
UE (Under Eye): I’m doing what I can to create that
UN (Under Nose): I’m creating my reality
CH (Chin): And I’m doing all that I can
CB (Collarbone): To make it the best reality possible
UA (Under Arm) : So I’m letting go of blaming others
TH (Top of Head): And that’s hard to do sometimes

EB: Part of me really wants to blame others
SE: But then I’m stuck
UE: and my life can’t get any better
UN: Until other people do something
CH: And I don’t want to play that way
CB: And even if it’s possible
UA: That I don’t really create my own reality I
TH: I choose to live as though I do

EB: Because it’s much more empowering
SE: It’s much more motivating.
UE: It’s much more fun
UN: And so I’m taking responsibility for my life I
CH: Am where I am right now
CB: And where I go from here
UA: Is up to me I
TH: Have the power to move on from here

EB: And I’m using that power wisely
SE: I’m taking responsibility for where I go from here
UE: And I’ve taken responsibility for how I feel
UN: How I feel right now is
CH: Not anyone else’s fault
CB: Even if part of me really wants to say it is
UA: But I choose not to be a victim right now I
TH: Choose to take responsibility for how I feel

EB: And I can choose to feel bad
SE: And I can choose to feel good
UE: The choice is mine
UN: I’m taking responsibility for that choice
CH: And I’m using that responsibility wisely
CB: I’m choosing to feel really good
UA: And that’s up to me
TH: In body mind and spirit

Take a deep breath
And let it go
Use your power wisely, thank you for doing so.

 

Resisting Breakthroughs EFT Tapping with Brad Yates

Breakthrough to Your Connected Self

I know, without a doubt, that I have been blocking all sorts of breakthroughs in my life. I have been letting doubt and fear drive the train for quite a while now. Those “what ifs” are absolutely paralysing. Fear and allowing most definitely do NOT go hand in hand. My vortex has SOOO much just waiting for me to get out of my own way and allow it in.

Tap…tap…tap…

“Even though I’m resisting a breakthrough, I choose to love and accept myself anyway”

“Even though I’m resisting a breakthrough, part of me says ‘No I’m not! Things just aren’t lining up’ … ‘Other people are blocking me’ , I’m open to the possibility of taking
responsibility for this.”

Tap…tap…tap…

“I’m resisting a breakthrough. Because I know what it’s like on this side. It’s familiar. It’s comfortable”

“It may not be ideal but it’s known and I really like what’s known”

“Of course part of me also knows I might really like what’s on the other side so I choose to allow the breakthrough”

Thanks Brad! 🙏✌

I choose to let my vortex flow all that great stuff to me!

Endlessly Searching

Stormy Seas

It has been a very long time since I have updated this blog. My search for peace has been challenged left and right and, for the most part, I have discovered very little peace over the last two years or so. I think I would be very successful in my quest if I was a hermit living off in the woods by myself, but alas, that isn’t my current situation. I am surrounded by family members, ranging from the early teens to fifties, who have substantial mental health issues. My desire for peace is challenged on an hourly basis at times. I am not happy. I struggle with the day to day life, and want so much more for my time here. Currently my happiness pivots on other people’s situations. I KNOW this isn’t the key to my happiness and peace in this world but I haven’t been able to find my way amidst the storm.

It’s pretty impressive to me how when you ask for help, it appears, if you are open to seeing it. I seem to go in decade time cycles and then something breaks away and immense changes occur and they change is always started by me acknowledging that I need help. Twice in the last 20 years, I remember vividly my asking and giving up on the battle I was waging at the time. Both times amazing things appeared that lead to my inner happiness and major growth. I was in a place where I threw my hands up and said to the universe “I need help! Show me the way.” The second time I did this, about a decade ago, Wayne Dyer, Abraham-Hicks and Gary Craig were presented to me. They ALL were instrumental in my survival. I still listen to Abraham on a daily basis, but the other two sort of faded away in their usefulness to me over time.

Occasionally, as of late, I have been going to bed, contemplating not waking back up in the morning. I have no fear of death as we all live on forever. It is the life here on earth that is making me miserable. It would be so much easier to croak in my sleep and begin the cycle all over again. Though as I type that, I realize that it isn’t the life that is making me miserable, but rather my thoughts and feeling about it. As I keep waking up in the morning, I figured that my time here wasn’t ready to be up. So once again, I threw my hands up with “I need help! Show me the way.” As with the last two times, something that peaked my interest was presented to me.

Once again, Gary Craig is focusing me in a direction that feels right and helpful. Last night I got an email from Gary Craig that said he was making all his work from the last 2 decades free for everyone. He is the father of the EFT movement so this felt huge to me. Reading further into the email, Gary was talking about a new exciting direction he is taking. As I can’t find a web copy of the email, I am going to include the email, in full, below. I feel it is a BIG development and I am sure many here will resonate with the direction he is going.

As my interest was peaked, I went over to his new website to see what Optimal EFT was all about. The more I read, the truer it felt to me. Within his pages, he talks about A Course in Miracles. I have heard about it over the years but never really looked into it for some reason. The quotes that he shared on his page have made me realize that perhaps that is a direction that I need to investigate. When the universe drops something into your lap after you have asked for help, you probably should look into it 🙂 I don’t know where this will all lead me, but if the past is an indication of how this will all play out, big changes are about to happen for me.

Gary Craig’s Email

 

Note: This newsletter is being replaced by our Facebook Support Page. Join us there now for ongoing details, updates, Workshops/Webinars, Q&A and all things EFT.

Hi Everyone,

If you go to our website right now (Wednesday/Thursday) you will see that it is UNDER MAINTENANCE.

That’s because I have been busy developing a new website and overhauling the way we offer our materials. The last stage is now in progress and should be available for you on Sunday. To me, this is the most important thing to happen for the EFT Community in the last 10 years. Here are the highlights.

  • Everything on our website is now yours without charge. This includes all of our products (formerly $250 each) and the EFT Community membership (formerly $37/mo.). The EFT Community materials are now listed for everyone under Advanced Products on our new website.

    Note to existing Community Members: Within a week you will get an email from me with your options. You can continue to support us … or cancel/change your membership fee. Please wait for the email before contacting me on this. Thanks, Gary

    There is nothing to buy but a LOT to share. The only exceptions are (1) the fees made by the high level EFT Practitioners that are listed on the Gold Standard EFT segment of our website and (2) any associated person who contributes to our website and has products to sell. We cannot ask them to deliver their skills without compensation. This website, however, does not share in those fees. Nor do I.

  • Optimal EFT, our latest advancement, has been revised and upgraded into a stand-alone website that takes you from beginners level to as far up the cosmic ladder as you wish to go. This involves a new, spiritually oriented way of thinking and, for those willing to seek mastery of the process, the potential goes far beyond any man-made healing method. No tapping is required and I expect this method to eventually be a major player in, if not dominate, the healing field in the future. Again, no charge. It is currently available for your use at http://optimal-eft.emofree.com.

  • The Gold Standard EFT Tutorial is being maintained in its entirety for those who wish to use its principles.

  • Until further notice, I will generate Workshops & Webinars where I will personally answer questions and provide first hand instruction into the fine points of all levels of EFT. No need to spend money or leave your home. All details given on our new Facebook Support Page.
  • This newsletter is not likely to be active in the future. Instead, I intend to use our newly designed Facebook page where I will provide ongoing commentary, updates and announce our Webinars. This allows for frequent and more intimate connection. I suggest you go there now and sign up.http://www.facebook.com/GaryCraig.OfficialEFT

e-hugs, Gary

PS: In case you are wondering why so much is being given away, It is because I am guided by this quote from the materials of A Course In Miracles:

“No one should be turned away because he cannot pay.”

Those who wish to support us financially will find a DONATE link on our website. This is voluntary, of course. http://optimal-eft.emofree.com/donate

Life Is

Personal Growth

It’s been a long time since I have taken the time to update. I have literally been trying to discover my own peace and what a journey it has been.

I’ve come to learn that life happens and unfortunately, it can happen in ways that are incredibly unexpected. Since I have last updated, we have had to have our 14 year old committed to a mental hospital on three different occasions. As a mom and someone who really is trying to find balance, these incidences really challenged my ability to stay afloat at times. It is so easy to fall into less than helpful thought patterns. But hey, that’s life. Growth comes from experiencing the ups and downs. In all the knowing what I don’t want, I created a HUGE desire and understanding of what I did want.

I learned that Life Is and that Happiness is a choice. Sometimes it’s hard to make that choice, but it is so worth the effort.

There are many self affirming practices that I incorporated into my daily family craziness to help me regain my balance and feel better in the face of upheaval.

My Tools for Discovering Peace

1) Meditation

Recently, I have been alternating between Abraham’s meditations and using Zen12. They both work well for me. All I need to do is spend between 12 and 15 minutes to do a mental reboot. I’ve found that I am able to cope better with new situations that arise when I have been meditating consistently.

2) EFT

Emotional freedom techniques have helped me immensely. They have helped me remove many core issues that can get triggered and make the current moment even more dramatic than they already are. I absolutely adore the work of Brad Yates and find his Youtube videos super helpful. If his style doesn’t suit you, there am many people on Youtube that share eft videos. Just search what ever is bothering you like “eft” and “powerless” and see what wonderful stuff comes upl

3) “The Power of Now”

I was lucky enough to be part of a facebook group about eft during the 3rd commitment. I reached out and asked for tapping videos or anything that would help me make it through the shock / hopelessness / desperation I was feeling. Of course I got plenty of tapping suggestions but I also got a private message suggesting the “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. I knew I had this CD someplace in my massive collection self help materials. I now have the 4 cd series ripped as mp3s and on a playlist on my phone. I love that the message flows nicely with the teachings of Abraham. Tolle’s message helps remind me that all I have to deal with is THIS moment and that all other “times” are projections of my mind. I can’t change the past and the future I imagine may or may not come to pass. My power is truly in the now.