It has been forever since I made a post here. Needless to say, discovering peace was not what I was doing and I was getting sucked into emotional places I didn’t want to go.
I’ve learned that every day has the possibility of pulling you off into the bushes and beating the crap out of you, if you let it. For quite a while there, that is were I miserably ended up on a daily basis.
So, since my last post, WAY back in July of last year I’ve lived(?) through:
– Tons of mental health issues including family coming off medications that seemed to be helping but didn’t realize it until they were gone.
– A child coming out as transgender and starting hormone replacement therapy (which ended up increasing mental health issues in other family members).
– Massive downsizing of our small business.
Well, that isn’t productive. I know I could go on and on listing out stuff but, ya know, what is/was was just an indication of my previous momentum. I lived in “I can’t do anything to make this situation better!” as my stress and fears were due to what was going on within my family.
It’s funny how the more stressed I was, less likely I would do what I needed to to feel better. My daily listening to Abraham-Hicks dropped to no listening. They were so not in my vibrational range and listening just pissed me off. I dropped into a very dark, “woe is me”, “my life sucks” self pity hole.
Today I came across an exceptional video that talked to where I was. I had to sign up to view it, but captured it to show you it here. I HIGHLY recommend signing up so you get the future videos in this series. Tara Brach is amazing. You can sign up on the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine website.
I didn’t realize it, but I spent so much of my days living in wait of the potential troubles happening. Needless to say, it wasn’t a very pleasant stretch of time for me. I felt tired, stressed and burned out all the time. I recognized that fact and I wanted to feel better with out asking anyone else to change. I wanted to find my level even though the seas would occasionally be rough. So, I decided to refocus on me, and what I wanted and needed.
I had been a pretty haphazard in meditating and never did it when it would have been most helpful. So, I added that to my habit tracker and said I would meditate every day. I’m not managing that goal yet, but am getting pretty close. I am taking time out of day to day happenings to focus on something that will make me feel better and more centered.
I also realized that with the stress of my life, came the pounds. I used to be an emotional eater. I’ve stopped that now. I am tracking what I eat and exercise just about every day. I found things that felt good doing (ddpyoga) and I am committed to making myself feel better from the inside out.
Oh, and I am back to listening to Abraham on a daily basis again. It feels good to feel better. I think this lifestyle is a keeper. 🙂