Finding My Balance

Balancing

It’s been a LONG time since I’ve posted here. So much stuff has gone on in my life that I’ve allowed to throw me off into the bushes. I’ve come to understand that other people’s mental health issues can really derail me. As a gift to myself, I have started focusing on me and my connection. Everything is still going on around me, but with Abraham and meditation, I am regaining my balance.

This morning, I started out by pulling some cards from my “The Good Tarot” oracle deck. I shuffled them with this question in mind: “What do I need to know in order to reach my highest joyful to self?” Mind you, joyful has been pretty scarce around these parts for a while.

6/10 Good Tarot Oracle Card Reading

Messenger of Air

First Card: Where you are now

Opinions informed by experience, adherence to dogma, allegiance to a way of thinking or acting, a learned response, subconscious programming, and swift reactions or responses.

“I need to broaden my perspective.”

“I am reacting to a situation from my past. I have to think about whether I want to do things the old way or respond differently this time.”

” I can adapt a new way of thinking and behaving.”

“If I am swift and move quickly, ensuring my actions are for the highest good, positive outcomes are assured.”

Call

Second Card: What is coming in to influence the situation

Purpose and true prosperity

I have everything I need right now to move forward with purpose. I’m being called into a deeper and more authentic relationship with myself, with my Higher Power, and with others. I am here for a reason. I’m required to step forward into my true self, expressing that through my actions. I need to trust that my life has a purpose, that I am “enough” and that within me is a divine blueprint that has meaning for myself and others.

Page of Water

Third Card: The energy that will come in to influence the situation if you continue along the same path you are on.

Open-heartedness, childlike innocence and curiosity, beginning of intimacy and relationships, playfulness, cheerful optimism.

“I open my heart fully, allowing myself to feel childlike wonder and innocence.”

“All adventures lead me where I need to go. Love awaits!”

“Life is a delightful dance, and I am here to frolic and play. I am ready with a big smile and I have on my dancing shoes.”

Well, that was pretty spot on. I am definitely stuck with a bad case of what-is-itis. Most of current thinking is definitely due to past experiences. Subsequently, that thinking makes me act in ways that aren’t always forward moving. I’m pretty much stuck in my old patterns.

The second and third cards are pretty much affirming that my decision to move forward and become more ME is a good path 🙂 I am not sure what my purpose is and that is a tad bit scary. It feels like jumping without a parachute. But it looks like I am most definitely guided so I have to be open to the guidance and the path and purpose will become clear.

I know I have plenty of subsconscious stuff but between meditation and eft, I think I can make my way though. Patience and persistence are my friends. 🌈💖🌈💖

Feeling Gratitude and Appreciation When Everything Seems to Suck

Gratitude and Appreciation

As much as I would like to say that I’ve got this gratitude and law of attraction thing working to my advantage, sadly this is not the case for me in this current time and space dynamic.

I’ve got way too much uncontrollable life stuff going on that makes me feel hopeless and super overwhelmed. Today is Thanksgiving and all I can do is hope that the holiday season passes fast without incident. This is the worst time of year for my family and things are always very stressed and on edge.

Now I KNOW that gratitude and appreciation are great catalysts for change, but when I am feeling so crappy and overwhelmed, finding things to be grateful for or appreciative of are pretty hard to come by.

The articles below may be of help to those out there in a similar boat as I am in. I need to find things to be appreciative of. I know they have to be there, but I need a perspective shift in order to see them. It feels imperative that I find a way to do this. I am just so tired of feeling this way. Hoping that things will change isn’t working. I have to change the way I am thinking in spite of what is going on around me.

Discovering Peace?

Into the Light

It has been forever since I made a post here. Needless to say, discovering peace was not what I was doing and I was getting sucked into emotional places I didn’t want to go.

I’ve learned that every day has the possibility of pulling you off into the bushes and beating the crap out of you, if you let it. For quite a while there, that is were I miserably ended up on a daily basis.

So, since my last post, WAY back in July of last year I’ve lived(?) through:

– Tons of mental health issues including family coming off medications that seemed to be helping but didn’t realize it until they were gone.
– A child coming out as transgender and starting hormone replacement therapy (which ended up increasing mental health issues in other family members).
– Massive downsizing of our small business.
– …

Well, that isn’t productive. I know I could go on and on listing out stuff but, ya know, what is/was was just an indication of my previous momentum. I lived in “I can’t do anything to make this situation better!” as my stress and fears were due to what was going on within my family.

It’s funny how the more stressed I was, less likely I would do what I needed to to feel better. My daily listening to Abraham-Hicks dropped to no listening. They were so not in my vibrational range and listening just pissed me off. I dropped into a very dark, “woe is me”, “my life sucks” self pity hole.

Today I came across an exceptional video that talked to where I was. I had to sign up to view it, but captured it to show you it here. I HIGHLY recommend signing up so you get the future videos in this series. Tara Brach is amazing. You can sign up on the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine website.

Facing Fear

I didn’t realize it, but I spent so much of my days living in wait of the potential troubles happening. Needless to say, it wasn’t a very pleasant stretch of time for me. I felt tired, stressed and burned out all the time. I recognized that fact and I wanted to feel better with out asking anyone else to change. I wanted to find my level even though the seas would occasionally be rough. So, I decided to refocus on me, and what I wanted and needed.

I had been a pretty haphazard in meditating and never did it when it would have been most helpful. So, I added that to my habit tracker and said I would meditate every day. I’m not managing that goal yet, but am getting pretty close. I am taking time out of day to day happenings to focus on something that will make me feel better and more centered.

I also realized that with the stress of my life, came the pounds. I used to be an emotional eater. I’ve stopped that now. I am tracking what I eat and exercise just about every day. I found things that felt good doing (ddpyoga) and I am committed to making myself feel better from the inside out.

Oh, and I am back to listening to Abraham on a daily basis again. It feels good to feel better. I think this lifestyle is a keeper. 🙂