Abraham Hicks Workshop
Stamford CT 5/29/2010
Masters CD 2 Track 10
“Getting His Daughter to Clean Her Room”
Hot Seater: Alright, I’ve got one more. It might be impossible. How can I get my daughter to clean her room? Should I just leave?
Abraham: The conversation that your inner beings are having is your daughter’s inner being is saying “How can I get my dad to stop trying to control the uncontrollable and understand what is his business and what isn’t?”
And the profound, inspired answer was Keep a messy room. You’ll wear him down in time. He’ll come to understand that..that…because conditional love is “I feel better when your room is clean and I want to feel good so I’m making my happiness dependant on your behavior.” And this rebellious source energy being within is remembering “Oh no no no no noooo. We said that we would be catalyst to one another to help one another remember unconditional love. We would help one another remember that when you try to control the uncontrollable you just end up out of the vortex. And when you control the only thing you can control, which is your relationship to the vortex, then you tune into the energy that creates worlds and then your influence is powerful.
Now we just gave you the law based version of this, now we will give you the nitty gritty details of how we would go about it because it’s alright. You have the right to desire a room to be clean. We’re really not saying that it’s none of your business. It’s in your house. You see it effect the way things go on. There’s disorder and therefore disorganization and therefore it can have ramifications on the household and other people. In other words, we’re playing with you when we say it doesn’t effect you because, of course, it does. But when we say “it’s none of your business” we mean that in this deep deep sense. What IS your business is your alignment and anything that you use as an excuse to not be in alignment, you’re misusing it, you see.
And so, it’s like “I can’t feel good until they plug the oil spill or I can’t feel good until the economy improves or I can’t feel good for this…” there’s always some excuse that people are using. Some small reasons by the scope of human events and some big reasons but people keep using so many things as their excuse to not be in alignment with who they are. And the bottom line is, there is no excuse. There is no justifiable excuse to hold yourself out of alignment with who you are. And some of the people that, who mean the most to you have come with that very powerful intention for – you’ve come with a sort of co-intention to help each other remember that we’re not going to spend, we’re not going to WASTE our lives trying to control uncontrollable things. Instead we’re going to contol the only thing we can control which is our opinion, which is our relationship with who we really are. And when we control that relationship with our being in the vortex, now law of attraction brings everything else into being.
And that’s that power of influence, that we were talking about. When you’re tuned into the fullness of who you are, you’re sending one signal. And when you send one signal, you’re more powerful than millions who are out there with mixed signals. So it works liek this – So the room is messy, you want it to be orderly. Your daughter is, is, sort of out of sorts, you want her to feel good. A lot of things you put into your vortex as a result of that one, ongoing issue. So you’ve been building this, this version of your daughter and her relationship with her room and her relationship with life and her relationship with the family. You’ve been building this version for a long time that you get to do. In other words, every person that you meet, even if you just meet them on the elevator, you actually put a version of them, as they relate to you, into your vortex. And then, you have one responsibility, isn’t the perfect word, but it will do. You have one responsibility, only. And that is to live up to the version that you put there. Which isn’t easy to do when she’s over there living the version that inspired it.
And so, what happens is, you’ve put a different version into your vortex. She’s still living the old version. You’re, in your now, observing the old version, using it as the excuse not to be in alignment with the new version.
Are you following this? This is REALLY a good discussion because it’s what happens so often. The people, that you interact with, have helped you to co-create this vortex that you now, owe it to yourself, to live up to. And when you don’t, no matter what the reason, you don’t feel good.
So this is what your daughter and you both knew before you came into these bodies. “If I”, speaking from your daughter’s point of view, “If I adjust my behavior, so that it matches my father’s version, then he doesn’t have to do any focusing in order to feel better.”
Oh, stay with us, this is really, really important. “I’ll be a pleaser. I’ll scamper around and try to figure out as best I can, I can’t do it very well because, as we talked earlier, everybody’s got a different perception of things, but I’ll do my best, to be such a reader of people’s minds, and such a deliverer of what they want, I’ll be such a pleaser that I’ll do my very best to live up to their version of the vortex.”
And many people would say, “Well, good child. You get the gold star. You make mommy happy. You make teachers happy. You are a high performer. You are fitting in all of the right niches.” And we say, what you’re really doing, pleaser person, that you didn’t mean to do, is that you are making it unnecessary for your father to ever tend to his own vortex. And you’re the only one who’s going to do it because you care so much about him. And, so, and usually it’s the other way around. It’s a parent or a.. Children try to please their parents. It’s a natural thing. And parents … *laughter* especially in the beginning.
Hot Seater: In the beginning…
Abraham: What we’re getting at is, there’s a bigger intention that is brewing that, in most cases, doesn’t keep it going very long and then parents write books like, “Where did my little girl go? Oh I remember how you were in the beginning. We used to snuggle and nothing was more important to you than pleasing me. And THEN you became the demon child.” And you got the point, didn’t you. In other words, if… let’s take a, let’s take lovers who are… if you decide that this person’s approval matters so much to you, that you keep standing on your head to please them, two really screwy things happens. First is – You use them as your criteria so you train yourself away from your own guidance system. So then that person’s always got to be there and got to be consistent, which isn’t going to happen. The other thing that happens, that is equally screwy and unsettling, is that you train that person into feeling good, without doing the work of coming into alignment. So, now, they’re running around looking for other conditions to change and that’s how that whole spiral happens. Everybody is running around trying to get other people to change the condition. Look what happens, “You need to be our religion and if you’re not, we will obliterate your religion. We’ll blast you off the face of the earth. First we will try to convince you. Then we’ll coerce you, and then we’ll eliminate you if we can’t get you to come our way.” Or… or… And it goes on and on and on and on and on. In other words, this world tends to begin to propogate conformity for the sake of socialization and for the sake of then not having to do the work. In other words, it is a lot easier … it seems that “well if I look at I feel bad and if I look at that, I feel good so if I can just make that be that then all I have to do is look and I’ll feel good. So I’m going to be part of the crowd that tries to control conditions so that I can feel better.”
And we say, “How’s it working out?” It isn’t working out well at all. Where feel the ease of not trying to control the uncontrollable. It is just amazing to see your Earth response to an oil leak, that for the time being, appears to be uncontrollable. You’re not dealing with it very well emotionally, those who are wrapped up in it, because you can’t do anything about it and when you look at it, it makes you feel bad. This oil leak is sort of like your uncontrollable daughter giving you the option to come into alignment anyway because you have no choice.
Don’t you just love it? We just love to talk to people who are terminally ill because they’re more likely to do the only thing that works anyway, when they have no more options, you see.
So, that’s really what this is about. It is the subject of alignment for the sake of alignment, not justified alignment on the heels of controlling someone else.
Hot Seater: Thank you.
Abraham: Oh, wasn’t that good?